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I have spent the last week in Contemplative Prayer (CP) and have had many different reactions. Many mornings I spent 10 minutes in the practice. Some mornings, I felt truly peaceful, and these were fleeting moments where I could feel a sense of resting in God. But they would be followed by immediate distraction. It took too long to enter into this practice and I did not feel as though I had enough time to seek out this kind of cal and so I increased my time with CP to 15 minutes. This allowed me to enter into the practice in a better way–more readying time. I wasn’t rushed as I was before sensing, “I need to get to this place where I am going to feel relaxed–where I am going to feel God.” I need to hurry.” That does not promote anything but anxiety. I also felt on some mornings that 10 minutes was simply not enough and the extra 5 minutes have proven to be a much better experience.

I sit in a comfortable place, feet on the ground and straight in my chair–eyes closed. I begin to breathe in and out using the two syllable mantra, YHWH. I continue this mantra until I am somewhat relaxed and feeling completely still. My mind wanders, “What’s for dinner?” “Where is that noise coming from?” “I wonder if a friend will call?” As soon as the thoughts come in, I return immediately to the mantra and and feel a space within again. This space, in the dark and somewhat mysterious feels different than any other I experience. Calming, yet strange and always curious. Stillness, real stillness is so difficult a concept for me because the noise and distraction around me always wants in. I want God in, but the world clamors and wins too many times. This is why CP is such a challenge. Not impossible, but a real challenge.